This one is for my Fella’s

What?! two posts in two days you ask? yup live with it.

So Its saturday and that means I’m at work at NCCS doing security. This place is a great school but its a ghost town on saturday if there is no sporting events. Today is one of those days there isn’t an event on campus. so I’m here all alone. Since I got here at two i’ve worked out. shot hoops in the gym and just finished watching the Saturday Easter service for my church online.

Thats what spurred this crazy thought for a second post in as many days.

you know when you go to easter service its all about the resurrection and the gospel presentation and trying to reach those people who only step inside the doors of a church once or twice a year? Well my pastor took the opportunity to preach on Marriage, Christ and the Church in Ephesians 5:22-33. No i’m not copying it go get your bible and read it.

While listening to this sermon I got some really awesome affirmation to things I’ve kind of figured out by watching my parents marriage. If you don’t know my parents have been happily married for almost 30 years. actually next summer it will be 30. anyway, Pastor Johnny went on to talk about things wives should do and be for their husbands and how husbands are supposed to act and be for their wives. He then stopped to talk about his relationship with his wife he had 5 points that I believe are essential to every relationship weather in marriage or boyfriend girlfriend. So guys if you are reading this you might want to take notes. Ladies let me know if you agree.

Top 5 Things women want in a relationship:

1) To feel Secure.

- Guys, knowing we are there for them no matter what and that we are going to protect them is what matters most.

2) To feel Loved.

-Regardless of how angry you might get or whatever trial comes in your relationship with your wife or girlfriend let them know that no matter what happens you love them. Married couples don’t throw around that D word. no matter how mad you get reassure your wife fellas “baby i still love you regardless of the situation or how upset I get.”

3) To be listened to.

- If you are anything like me this is one of the hardest. When I see my significant other upset, mad, concerned my male instinct kicks in and I just want to fix the problem. DON’T! Listen first. most of the time she just wants to be identified with in her concern and to know you care. Even if she asks your opinion don’t take that as a green light to go in guns a blaze to fix her problem. She will ask you to fix it if she wants but most of the time it helps her just to talk about it. Remember guys she has twice as many words to get out during the day than we do(which is ok ladies.) so just listen.

Another part of this is not just listening when she has a problem but listening when she just wants to talk. I’ve found remembering little things mean a ton. if she tells you she’s got a big event at work coming up or she asks you to remind her to do something you know she’s going to remember on her own, shoot her a text and say “hey i’m praying for you love you” before her big meeting or event for work or tell her hey you told me to remind you of this or that. She notices that kind of stuff and it means a lot to her that you took the time to listen to her.

4) To feel Beautiful

- This one is big guys. I know some of you aren’t sappy romantics like me but sometimes she wants to hear or for you to show her that she’s beautiful. and not just that she is beautiful but that she is beautiful to YOU.

5) To be Understood

- Unrealistic expectation? probably.I’m not going to pretend I have the female gender figured out because I don’t. but your effort into trying to understand your wife or significant other fully is probably one of the most visible acts of love to her. So while you may not completely understand her you can learn a lot just by trying.

These were the points from his sermon that I got and added a few comments of my own. Ladies don’t think I left you out. do you want to know the most important need for a guy in a relationship? no its not sex.

A man’s greatest need in a relationship is RESPECT. 

If he feels you respect him everything else falls into place. This quote from John Piper really hits this relationship advice home.

If you live for your private pleasure at the expense of your spouse, you are living against yourself and destroying your own highest joy -John piper

Hope you guys enjoyed and maybe even learned a little. Have a wonderful and BLESSED easter.

Sincerely,

Me

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